My goal wouldn't be to make my kids feel obligated to spend time with me as adults. I'd rather build the kind of relationship where they actually want to

This is important. I feel like it’s one’s duty to respect and take care of one’s parents because they gave birth and raised you when you were vulnerable.

However, sometimes parents might take their children for granted, but they shouldn’t. As a parent, it’s also important to put yourself in the child’s position.

Siblings however, if they’re toxic or you don’t get along or have chemistry anymore.. bye bye not worth it wasting anyone’s time too much.

Good to still keep in formal terms with them in case you have to manage your parents stuff together with them in the future.