Yo, you missed the biggest pile of 'em all,

The Bitcoin experts making every wrong call.

They claim the Halving is a rocket to the moon,

But leave you holding bags in a basement by noon.

They preach Satoshi’s Vision like a holy crusade,

While selling off their stacks for the gains that you made.

It’s a circus of FUD and a parade of the FOMO,

Buying high, selling low, like a digital hobo.

They scream HODL tight! while they exit the door,

Leaving retail investors face down on the floor.

If politics is theater and comedy is art,

Then crypto-bullshit is a literal brain-fart.

So don’t be a sucker for the laser-eye glint,

Most Alpha you hear isn't worth the fresh mint.