Step aside from the podium and the brick-wall comedy set,

Meet the Bitcoin Maxi the loudest bullshit yet.

If it isn’t Proof of Work, then it’s basically a sin,

They’ll call you a "shitcoiner" before the talk can even begin.

Toxic for a reason! is the slogan on the flag,

While they hold a heavy bag that’s starting to really sag.

Everything is Bullish, even when the grid goes down,

They’re the only ones smiling in a burning, flooded town.

Energy consumption? "It actually heals the earth!"

They’ll find a way to pivot and prove what a sat is worth.

It’s a cult of digital scarcity, a brand new secular faith,

Chasing Satoshi’s ghost a 21 million piece wraith.

So put Religious Zealot in your Bullshit Hall of Fame,

Where every single problem has a "Bitcoin fixes this" name.

No need for a platform or a joke to make 'em clap,

Just say "HFSP" and fall right into the trap.