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167 sats \ 1 reply \ @Scoresby 1 Dec \ on: Parenting Education
My own experience of parenting is also full of these difficult questions. The world has sharp edges and the process of teaching your children about those edges is no fun.
The cliche is touching a hot stove. You can prevent them from touching the hot stove, but then they might not learn to avoid it and when confronted later with something bigger and hotter, with higher stakes, where touching may mean more than a little burn, having actually touched the hot stove becomes invaluable.
That analogy is probably not the best, but one of the most necessary and difficult parts of parenting is allowing your children to learn these kinds of lessons. Our instincts are to shield them from all badness, all unpleasantness, all unfairness. But probably, such shielding is not good.
The baby who frequently falls down probably learns to walk faster than the baby whose parents always catch her.
And yet, being able to provide a do-over to our children when they're heart is broken is such a wonderful thing -- I can only occasionally resist.
Thanks for expounding on your parenting philosophy.
You got me thinking about engineering challenges that are in my son’s stretch zone so that he can fail. To orchestrate failure instead of being stumped by it by chance.
Not sure how I can do that, though, but it is deserving of a think or two.
Another thing I’m reminded of is my country’s infamous Primary School Leaving Examination. All sixth graders have to take this nationwide exam in order to qualify for a secondary school that they prefer. It’s like the younger version of the SAT. Needless to say, stakes are high, teachers and tutors teach to the test, and some parents even take No Pay Leave to marshal their kiddos through the exam.
Of course, some kids don’t perform well for various reasons (aptitude, exam nerves, learning needs etc) and their world (along with that of their parents) gets crushed.
Since my son will join this academic arms race next year, I need to remind myself that if he doesn’t excel in the PSLE, he would have still learnt other invaluable lessons about success and failure.
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