The majority of self-custody setups are built to keep people out. Hardware wallet, hidden seed phrase, maybe a passphrase. Solid security.

There's a version of that which means your family gets nothing when you die. Not because you were careless. Because you were so careful nobody else could ever get in.

The seed phrase is in a safe. Does your spouse know which safe? Does she know what a seed phrase is?

The hard part isn't the technical solution, multisig exists, timelocked transactions exist. The hard part is that any solution involving your family requires explaining Bitcoin to someone who doesn't want to learn it and trusting them with something they don't fully understand.

One thing that doesn't get talked about enough: write a letter. Not the seed. A letter explaining what Bitcoin is, where to look, who to call. Sealed. Stored where your executor finds it.

Low tech. Actually works on the worst day of someone's life.

The security mindset and the inheritance mindset pull in opposite directions. Most people never sit with that tension until it's too late.