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20 sats \ 4 replies \ @ek 12 Dec \ parent \ on: A bunch of alarming shit BooksAndArticles
You don't get any matches, you don't get any messages1, and the app constantly reminds you that you can pay (more) to get "more matches" (but 0 times anything is still 0, haha). All the profiles look fake af, the interactions feel fake af, and nothing about swiping left or right seems to bring me closer to "real human connection." It's more like the opposite: getting used to and accepting the lack of real human connection, and realizing that we're all alone at home, trying to connect through apps (dating, social media, etc.), even though we're aware that these apps don't have our interests in mind. And that's how you're supposed to find someone nowadays? What is NOT soul-crushing about this? haha
I do know a number of couples who found their eventual spouse through online dating apps though. Actually, I know of at least 4 in my own social circles.
Yes, I think most couples I know did find each other through dating apps. But it doesn't change the fact it's a horrible experience.

Footnotes

  1. One time I even got a message, but it turned out it was just a bot marketing something. ↩
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64 sats \ 3 replies \ @SimpleStacker 12 Dec
dang.. i just wonder what the experience for those people was like. Like how many matches did they get before they found "the one", how soul crushing was it, how many times did they think about giving up, etc. You know what, maybe I should actually just ask some of them!
Also, i dunno what this means, but all of the couples I know who got married through dating apps were using one called "Coffee Meets Bagel".
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243 sats \ 1 reply \ @smallboat 2h
Speaking as someone who did find their wife (on Hinge) in 2022, it’s soul-crushing until you meet the person you were waiting for. I liked Hinge much better than the other apps because you can send a message that can help you stand out from the crowd, as opposed to just swiping blindly and then having to come up with a strategy later.
It’s important to remember that the juice is worth the squeeze - nothing worth having in life is easy, and the partner you choose is one of the most impactful decisions you’ll ever make.
For me, I actually moved to a city with a bigger dating pool, even though it was more expensive. I wouldn’t trade my wife for any amount of cheaper rent, so why would I take finding her any less seriously?
Even though it’s rough out there don’t lose hope, good things come to people who put in the work. Of all people, Bitcoiners should know this truth well.
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @SimpleStacker 2h
Thanks for the perspective.
The fact that you moved to a more expensive city to have access to a larger dating pool is an interesting twist on the housing affordability issue.
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87 sats \ 0 replies \ @ek 12 Dec
To be more positive and fair: I have had some good experiences just going out by myself, so I think I just need to do that more. I’m also getting more comfortable giving genuine compliments without any expectations, like saying, "Hey, your hair looks nice," and then running away, haha
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